Our Lying Eyes

I remember sitting in science class as a youngster learning about how the eye works.  It was quite interesting, even then, to learn how we see things initially upside down then the image is flipped for the brain to process.  This in and of it self is not such a huge deal but it gets a little more interesting the closer you look at this.  We live under the impression that we look out with our eyes.  This is not the case, our eyes are holes that receive data from the world around us.  Our brains translate this data into information that allows us to respond to our environment.  This is why it’s so hard for us to ‘see’ ourselves, we’re still stuck in the riddle of looking out.  The answer to every issue you have had and will have in life is inside not out.  The outside is for data purposes only!

Magic works ;by tricking the eyes into receiving data that’s  not really there.  Once our brains receive this data it accepts it as real and we respond to it. All of our senses are constantly receiving and transmitting information back to the brain for response.  The problem is that we’re typically not aware of that little moment between the two.  The moments between receive and react.  This is the mechanism that has been set to automatic.  We don’t consider how to respond, we simply respond.  Our emotions have guided the way for so long that now, we blindly trust that they’re making the right decisions for us.

Thoughts travel at the speed of light or very close to it, so when someone says to think ahead, take it literally.  The world around you slows down when you know how it works…you’re ahead of time and you wait for everyone else to get there.  How we perceive things is based on how we were taught to perceive them.  Even the decisions that we make that we consider our own are based on our past experiences and what was suggested to us during those times.

Lastly, if things are literally not what they seem to be, then figuratively speaking is a very easy next step.

Dehypnotize

Photo Credits : www.topnews.in and www.slices-of-life.com

On Gay Marriage

The thief looks at the liar and says’ “You’re going to hell”…  We’re either all right or we’re all wrong!

Who’s the head of the house?

This topic is deeply rooted in cultural and religious acumen.  The majority of society lives by the rule that the man is the head and this practice has guided us along our merry way for eons; but let’s put this idea through the physical (extrovert) emotional (introvert) test and see how it fares.

First let’s examine the ‘head’.  Inside of our heads rest a brain (for most of us), this brain consists of two individual and unique sides.  Without going through a course on neurology, let’s just say that one side is analytical and the other is creative.  Both sides of the brain mostly control the complete opposite side of the body.  So, it’s nearly impossible to operate with only one side of the brain functioning.  One side of the brain plays a more dominant role, but if ever forced to take on the role of the other side couldn’t function even in its own duties as well as it could with the other side present.  When both sides are fully operational the brain has a better chance of working to its full potential.

Now,  how did it come to be that one person is named the head no matter what?  Size… if I’m bigger than you or have a bigger gun so to speak, then what I say is the law.  Let me give you an example of how allowing status to decide a leader is a bad example…. North Korea and many others as well but that’s just the one at the top of my head.  Just because someone fits the ‘profile’ doesn’t mean they’re right for the position.  It’s like having a police car with all the flashing lights but it has a Pinto engine, or an easter egg with nothing inside or…well, you get the picture.  I’ve also heard it said that the man is the head because he’s more in control of his emotions and makes more logical decisions….really?  We should be more focused on what the harvest of our relationships will bring not who gets to tell whom to plant the seeds.

How do the physical and emotional traits fit into this equation.  Ok let’s say the woman in the relationship is the physical (extrovert) and her husband is an emotional (introvert).  Well the wife is going to be more outspoken than the husband giving the appearance that she’s in charge or ‘the head’ .  This will cause immediate problems for said husband because now he’s ‘less of a man’ because he doesn’t ‘rule’ his house.  The wife is only being herself and will find herself not being herself if she has to ‘bow down’ to this less of a man.  This leads to the feeling of being trapped or imposed on by an outside force and causes more of an acting out in the relationship; now each person has something to prove to the other… or so they think.  The marriage is doomed for failure before it even gets started good…

Let’s say it’s a physical husband and an emotional wife.  The physical male is normally bossy, short-tempered and spontaneous all at the same time.  The emotional wife is the analytical one, she likes to think things alllll the way through before making a move… if she ever makes one.  So, the balance that can be obtained in this relationship is never realized because the husband will ‘typically’ not listen to the wife in important matters.  She takes to long to say it or she’s so ‘sensitive’  she makes more of things than they actually are and she’s always nagging.  Physicals based on their need to express everything they feel ‘physically’ are normally not very astute with their finances.  As I’ve said before they’re as good at spending money as they are making it.  The lucky ones find a way to make more than they could possibly spend…then they lose their minds! lol

So, who should be the head in these scenarios? I’ll give you a hint… it’s just like our brains.  Both sides/heads are contained in the head/house for balance and it’s not until both sides are working together properly as ONE head that the relationship can function and grow to its full potential!

- Dehypnotize

Photo credit [theoellsworth.blogspot.com] and [frackedagain.blogspot.com]

X-treme Couponing – A new source of Income

It’s a little ironic that I’m writing about this considering my deficiency in balancing the spend/save ratio.  Knowing this, I’ve turned all the financial duties over to my wife. (Her field is in finances so I thought it may be a good idea.) Miraculously at the end of the month I have a little more money to spend than when I was at the helm.  I still can’t figure this out…lol

The other day she frantically calls from upstairs, ” Oh my God! Honey, come here quick!”  I morph into super hero mode and dash upstairs to ward off any intruder.  In my haste I trip and somehow managed to fall ‘up’ the stairs stubbing my big toe in the process. I yell out, “What, what?!”  To keep from screaming in agony.

She’s sitting at her computer eyes stretched wider than they were made to.  “Hurry come look at this sale I just found on this website!”

……………………………..Seriously?  I was sooo mad, but now I’m already up there so I might as well look at the stupid sale.  Ok, the sale was nice but, it still wasn’t nice  enough to make the pain in my toe go away.  She made me watch a cable show once where this family bought something like $3,000.00 worth of merchandise for $75.00 just using coupons.  Great show but couponing’s not really my thing so I just made note that it was possible.  Well, after showing me how we’d save more than $800.00 this year using this method alone , I was a little more interested.  Now I don’t know how you’re doing in this economy but we’re still trying to save every penny that we can.  I buy all of my office supplies online now and $800.00 savings certainly goes a long way.

Here’s how you can recognize your savings as income,  take the actual amount that you’ve saved each month and place it into a separate account.  At the end of the year you’ll have that extra Christmas, or whatever holiday you celebrate, money.

Bottom line here is there are many ways to save money, but since we’re mostly impulse buyers we don’t take the time to plan how much we’re going to save before we go out and spend.  There’s a commercial that says it best,” 15 minutes can save you a lot of money.”  I didn’t realize how this related to suggestibility until my wife suggested it to me… go figure.  She explained how extreme shoppers do so by habit, extreme savers follow the same behavior.  Hmmm, what insight.

I know this is a little off of my normal subject matter but I thought it was definitely worth passing along.  Below I’ve listed a few FREE sites that we’ve found helpful and what they offer.;  check them out and leave some that you know of in the comment section.  Click on an image below to visit the site.

 

- MyEcon : This site offers discounts % on travel, great restaurants as well as to all of your favorite department stores including : Wal-Mart, Target, Walgreens, Best Buy and many more.   In addition to the coupons they actually give you cash back for shopping online.  I put this one first because they have a referral program that also pays you when your friends shop online too.  (This is the one she was yelling about.)

 

- Free Grocery Coupons : As stated in the name, this site gives you a ton of ‘relevant’ free coupons.  It also describes techniques and tips on  saving tons of money on food, household, and other  items.  Definitely worth a look!

 

- Lozo - This company makes couponing a little easier by allowing four searches at once and they email you grocery coupons that match your list!

 

Photo Credit: [ www.theblaze.com]

 

 

Is child molestation a norm?

I know this may sound a little weird to ask but, let me explain why I do.  Recently I conducted a survey of clients I see periodically and found that around six out of ten of these clients had been abused or molested as a child…….six out of ten!  Now this is obviously not a national or official report but still worth noting.  For me, I’ve been in a state of shock to find it so common in our society.  I guarantee that you know someone that has been abused or that has abused.

It’s said that not all that have been abused turn out to become abusers but those that do abuse have most likely been abused.  I’ve written about this before but it just won’t go away.  The scary part about it is that most that have been abused are too afraid or embarrassed to talk about it, so that means that there are tons more that go unaccounted for.  It really breaks my heart into pieces to imagine anyone having to experience such atrocities.  This behavior is akin to a virus, once you’re infected, you’ll most likely infect someone else too.

Even for those that are able to maintain a somewhat normal existence, it becomes a burden on any relationship they have; friends, family.  The people around them just think the person is crazy or is just like that but that’s not always the case.  The person even believes that this is just their normal behavior and everyone should stop being so sensitive.  I heard recently that a reality t.v. actress had a mild heart attack and was rushed to the hospital clinging to life.  This same actress revealed that she’d been taken advantage of at an early age and was just beginning to seek counsel for it.  I don’t that the heart attack was related to this, I was just trying to give you an idea which actress I’m referring to.  I bring her up because if you see the way she communicates with everyone on the show you’ll see  that she seems to be a very angry person.  Once she revealed her past it all made sense, she taking out the rage she had towards her offender on everyone around her.  How many relationships or friendships do you think were ruined throughout her lifetime because of this.  When someone abuses a child they affect more than just that child, they affect an entire generation.

Thankfully there is an antidote. Talk about it!  Talking about it exposes the person doing it… they need help and so do you.  If you’ve experienced abuse in your past, please seek counsel as soon as you can, it will release you of a burden you were unjustly given to carry.

Seeing a therapist doesn’t make you crazy…not seeing one does.

Dehypnotize

Photo credit: [freeimage.com , thegrio.com]

Travon vs George phase ll begins

Now that George Zimmerman has been arrested, I guess we will start to see those opposed to a conviction begin to emerge. This is a rhetorical question but worthy of asking. Does anyone remember the feeling the world had on 9/11? Remember the senators were all praying and singing together on the senate floor no less? How would you say they’re getting along now?  How would you say the emotional state of the country is now about 9/11.  Let’s just say it’s a little different than it was then…. the emotions are gone.

One thing I noticed in this case is that when people come together for a common goal things happen. However, I believe the larger message in this is lost to the ‘sin’sationalism of the story. The media is only able to stay relevant as long as they are able to excite emotions. There is actually more good news to report than bad, unfortunately, good news doesn’t touch us the way that bad news does that’s why there’s so little of it reported.

So, what happens now that Mr. Zimmerman has been arrested? The bus loads of people will go back to their everyday lives with stories to tell their friends and relatives of how they are involved (all well and fine), but, how many of them will go back and rally in their own neighborhoods for better education! What about rallying for after school or community programs to keep kids in hoodies from perpetuating this negative stereo type.  Or what about a rally against racial profiling instead of sitting back joining the fray of pointing fingers at ‘the others’. 

Travon wasn’t just a victim of George Zimmerman, he was a victim of years of a society ignorant of looking inside First to solve problems. Everything that we see is only the result or display of what’s going on internally. Seriously, are there crimes committed by individuals wearing hoodies? Does racial profiling take place? Yes and yes! So, let’s stop pretending that our kid is not the bad one. Let’s address these issues from a how can ‘I’ change position as opposed to how can I change the other person/people.

Here’s a thought, changing one’s self ‘changes’ the people around them.  Let’s pray for both families and all those involved…. please

Photo courtesy [politico.com] and [septembermccarthy.com]

Easy fixes to 10 complicated relationship Issues

Women -

He never wants to go out

• Don’t be alarmed, you’re just dealing with an emotional (introvert).  Emotionals are not sociable people.  You should schedule 2 times a month at least, that you both agree on, to have a date night.  Plan to go by yourself if you need to go out more than that or have friends over.  To force a social life on an emotional is complete torture for them… that’s what they have you for.

He goes out too much

•   This guy is a physical (extrovert).  They must, must get out and socialize.  They were made to move and shake.  He probably has a lot of friends and is always on the phone setting up the next rendezvous.  This doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you or that he’s out cheating (doesn’t mean that he’s not either) just that him wanting to go out all the time is not ‘the’ indicator of cheating.  You should get out as well with or without him.  As long as he knows that you’re going to be there waiting when he gets back….why would he change anything?

He never compliments me

• This is typical emotional behavior (introvert).  He thinks as long as he’s not complaining that you should know that everything’s all good.  This can be solved by simply expressing to him that you love it when he compliments you… (say it in a sexy voice.)  Encourage the behavior that you’d like to see in him and with a little patience you’ll begin to see the change.

He’s a liar and a cheater

• Leave!

All he talks about is work

•    This is also a common trait of the emotional suggestible.  Again, don’t take it personally, this is just how they were made.  If you’d like him to talk more about family/relationship… talk to him about how what he’s doing on his job helps in the home.  Encourage him to get involved with things in the home.  When this is done without negative emotions, the result will be most pleasing.  By the way it doesn’t happen over night, but what does?

He doesn’t talk to me at all

• This too is the emotional.  Emotionals have to be coaxed out of their shells to be more interactive.  This is still easily overcome.  Try not talking so much yourself (I mean that in the most positive sense.)  If you’d like to change a person’s behavior…become it.  The less you talk the more he’ll inquire what’s wrong… there’s your opening.  Tell him that you find his voice sexy and you wish he’d use it more…

He’s financially irresponsible

• This is typically physical (extrovert) behavior.  Physicals respond ‘physically’ to whatever they’re feeling emotionally, therefore if a new car is going to make them ‘feel’ good, they’re going to buy it…and they can’t stop!  They are normally the go getters so they will constantly have money but its only to spend on the next emotional trip.  So, you have a few choices here.  Try to convince him that you should handle the finances… that’s a hard sell I know.  So, if that’s not an option tell him that he needs financial counseling before you end up in bankruptcy and trust me you will. Lastly, if those tactics don’t work there’s no hope so you can live with it and prepare to live a life of financial ups and downs or… you can leave.

He’s a Momma’s boy

• This means that his mom is probably a physical.  Physical women are very…very attentive to their children…for their entire lives.  It comes from a good place but can sometimes cause problems in a relationship.  The funny thing about it is that if she’s a physical you’re likely one too.  This is just a case of the same personalities trying to occupy the same space at the same time.  The fix to this is, try to give them their time (without jealousy) that as a man his first priority is his immediate family.  It’s a harsh thing to say but his mom has already done her job and should be (by this point) a side dish…not the main course.  If this doesn’t work, become him for bit (spend more time with the kids or your parents) just to prove the point then go back to being yourself.

He doesn’t like to ‘do it’ as much as I do

• This is an emotional trait.  Emotionals operate on cycles.  They need to recuperate before doing it again.  If you sit back and let him make the move you’ll get an idea of the type of cycle he’s on.  So, if it’s a five-day cycle, the next week do it a day earlier and do this for a while then do it a day earlier.  You’ll need a little patience with this because you’re retraining him to get on your schedule.  It’s all mental and it is all learned behavior… change it.

He wants to do it too much

•  This is physical behavior.  Remember whatever is felt internally is going to expressed externally. They don’t like foreplay they just want to get in and get out.  foreplay requires time, thinking and emotions…not their strong area.  So, your task is a huge one but still fixable.  You must first get rid of your own emotions for a bit.  Even if you don’t want to do it, start making the moves on him without the forplay…they’re normally uneasy with this because it takes away the control of the situation.  Most likely they’ll turn you down…now you have them in an ‘emotional’ state take advantage of it.  Tell him this is how you feel when he does it to you.

So, I hope this helps a little. There’s no magic cure for any situation but taking this approach allows you more control of yourself (stress) and ultimately your situation.

Dehypnotize -

(photo credit – sciencephoto library)