Can You Relate

     How many times have we heard that the most important thing in a relationship is communication?  Now, how many times have we been told what that means specifically?

    The concept of physical and emotional behavior created by Dr. John Kappas Ph.D, will allow us to understand more clearly what communication has meant to you and what it could mean to you going foward. You’ll wonder why no one has been talking about this before now.

     This concept is based on two individuals in a relationship described as dating, married, family friends  etc.  This includes traditional and same-sex relationships a like.  We traditionally have called these behaviors passive or aggressive however, this limits our understanding of what truly lies below the surface.

     Let’s begin with the emotional. We’d normally apply this type of behavior to women when in fact men or women may  display these same characteristics.  I’ll start by exposing differences between the two personalities then I’ll get into what these differences mean. 

     Who’s the person in your relationship that is normally the first to walk away from the argument and reply “Fine, I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”? Who’s the one that is always complaining about being cut off during the argument? Who seems to be the most indecisive? Here’s a good one; who’s the one that’s always looking for the meaning behind the words or always trying to read between the lines? Do you see how these could apply to male of female?  These are just a few of the characteristics of  the emotional behavior.

     The Physical.  The physical is the one in the relationship that has to be the boss.  They’re normally the outgoing type.  They like to get all in your space when they’re talking.  They have to touch to communicate. They’re often accused of speaking without thinking or simply speaking too much.  They’re typically very fashion conscious.  Again this could apply to male or female.

     For some unknown reason, these two opposites attract each other and try to change one into the other… This is the beginning of all relationship issues!  Simply put, it’s not until we understand ourselves can we understand ourselves in a relationship. 

Stay tuned to learn more about how these personalities are developed and how they play off of each other.

T Scott

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