Why Do Men Cheat?

Sigh…Well unlike all of the stories I’ve heard up to now there’s not one reason that anyone cheats.  However, the many reasons for cheating can be separated into two categories… you guessed it : Physical and Emotional.

Let me clarify these two behaviors quickly.  The Physical is generally known as the aggressor, the alpha male/female, whereas the Emotional is known for being the passive or the quiet one.  Unfortunately, it has been taught that being the physical is the ‘correct’ way to become successful in life…I wonder who perpetuated that idea.  I disagree.  The key to success is identifying and developing your strengths and applying them in the right place for the right purpose.

So, let’s start with the Emotional male/female.  The emotional personality comes across as shy, quiet, the cool one, a good listener or even sensitive.  The substructure of this behavior amounts to the lack of desire for confrontation creating the yes man/woman.  They are called emotionals because they put their emotions in front to protect their physical bodies; such as bashfulness, embarrassment or simply silence.  As it relates to sex, the emotional is normally waiting for the physical to make the move.  So, if you find that the two of you do a lot of waiting for the other to make the first move, you’re probably both emotionals. This causes a tremendous amount of issues in the bedroom.  The emotional needs to be warmed up first to have sex whereas the physical likes to jump right in feet first.  If the emotional feels that their needs are not being satisfied, they’re not going to ‘confront’ the physical about it, they’re typically going to tell a friend.  In the event that this friend is of the opposite sex, they’ll feel like someone actually listens to them and understands them.  Unfortunately, they’re probably talking to another emotional who agrees with them and gives advice against the physical.  This ultimately leads to affairs and the couple breaking up.

Now for the physical.  The physical is the light-hearted socialite that never meets a stranger.  They’re labeled physicals because their emotions are tied closely yo their physical actions.  Unlike the emotional, they can curse you out one minute and be your friend again in the next. They’re erroneously called emotionals most times because of their flamboyant expressions of their feelings.  They’re called go-getters, over-reactors, on the edge or quick-witted, bossy, short-tempered and all out physical.  This is why the emotional turns away and wont continue to fight or argue with them.  The physical mistakes this submission as a win, when in fact the emotional is internally making plans for revenge.When its time for the physical to have sex and the emotional turns them away, that doesn’t mean that the feeling went away.  So, what do they do?  They call up some friends head out to the bar and pick up another physical who likes to have sex as much as they do.  However, the physical will not typically choose another physical to be in a relationship with…unless there’s money involved.  That goes for both personalities actually.

So, at the end of the day, people cheat because of the lack of understanding what the other person needs in the relationship.  If you knew how to communicate properly with your mate…you can get anything from them that you ever dreamed of.  Now, this is not the end all be all of cheating but it is why most problems occur in the bedroom.

In closing, I’d like to stress that there is no right or wrong person in a relationship, there are only different ways of communicating our feelings.  Both parties have to be willing to see it from the other side.  Balance in a relationship comes from expressing your will their way or vice-versa.


30 responses to “Why Do Men Cheat?

  1. Many people don’t fall so neatly into these two categories, their personalities are more mixed. This is very valid and helpful information except that it’s not always quite that simple.

    Very good analysis of the reasons for cheating, I had to laugh. Why is good communication so difficult? I am laughing (and crying) just thinking about the problems that result from people not understanding each other and communicating poorly.

    I enjoyed your article on the black/white issue too. A piece of the puzzle.

  2. Communication is the key to any successful relationship (personal, business, romantic, etc…) I agree that there is a major break-down in communication as it is easier to move on to the next than it is to actually work things out. Great post!

  3. Why do people cheat? Because they can get away with it or think they can. Too many will take them back or be the one they cheat with. As you said it means you must care for and think about the other person which unfortunately too many folks do not. Ego, it is all about “me” and making “me” feel good right now!
    Love the blog, Yotaki Beautywalk

  4. I agree on some points… or most of the points actually. I may say I am the emotional type only that I don’t tell emotional (opposite sex) friends about it. Most often I’d end up with a not-so-interested one so I would just let the issue cool down and pacify myself with some other things. I pray hard for it as well. In bed, yeah kind of emotional but I learned how to be physical as well in the long run because of my physical partner LOL 😀

    By the way, I like your blog. It’s one kind of life reality-checks! Hope to read more and thanks for following mine as well 😀

  5. Wow, I have learned from this!………I am very physical,the only thing is,I’ve never dated an emotional, but if I did,I don’t think there should be a problem with sex,cos I won’t have a problem asking for it,and if at any point I ever feel they don’t want the sex,that’s why they don’t ask,I’ll talk about it!………….but again,not even every physical will think like that right? Nice post!

  6. balance is the key to life.. especially relationships. This is why i stink at relationships. im not a balanced person. But, anway, your post is very true & im really enjoying reading ur blogs too much, because I ought to be cleaning for thanksgiving, darn it. i love this blog though! thanks for all the little chunks of wisdom!

  7. oh & btw, from experience, physicals don’t listen well, they jump to conclusions.. though they are easier to fight with & thus work things out. Emotionals are frustrating as can be. i dated two. & both ended horribly. NEVER AGAIN! i still don’t know which i am. i think i become which ever role the guy is not in a relationship. but, i think people should just say things how they are. not exaggerate, cuz that causes problems. but keep things to proportion.

    actually, can u blog about that sometime? keeping balance & different parts of your life in proper proportions? i’d love to hear what you have to say about that. Thanks!

    • You are absolutely correct…I call emotionals bowls (they hold on to everything) and physicals strainers (they can’t hold water)…and yes I will be blogging about balance…thanks again for stopping by

  8. Pingback: Why Do Men Cheat? « Lionessallison's Blog

  9. There is much to be said on this topic, the least of which is not the psychological effects of our choices. If sex is all in the mind as many maintain, we don’t need to change partners, we just need to change our minds about the one we are with. If Viktor Frankl can change his mind after what he went through (Man’s Search for Meaning), we, too, have the capacity to change our minds about any situation. That does not mean we have the capacity to do so, sometimes we simply don’t (I speak of myself) or that we will (sometimes we truly do not want to change our minds) Nor is the person we are involved with able or willing to do same – inherent human limitations – but then, relationships are never mono, it wouldn’t be called relationship if so. Even in friendships… ah trade offs, trade offs, life’s almighty balancer… 🙂

  10. You have explained a very complex situation simply… I like it!!! Being a woman we complicate things enough and should try to get back to basics. Thank you

  11. Communication styles are a challenge in any relationship! And if any two people commit to love each other unconditionally any challenge can be overcome! The liklihood of cheating fades away as you build friendship with your spouse. Delight in delighting your beloved, and you will thrive.

    • Wordofgold, thank you for asking that question! In a word…dehypnotize 🙂 I will be addressing this in the coming posts. I thought it necessary to identify these behaviors first then give an opinion on how we may develop in this area. Thank you ffor dropping by!

  12. “… people cheat because of the lack of understanding what the other person needs in the relationship…” – nail hit on head – well said.

  13. Pingback: Why Do Men Cheat? | Lioness Allison

  14. Pingback: Why Do Men Cheat? | Lioness Allison

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