He never wants to go out
- Don’t be alarmed, you’re just dealing with an emotional (introvert). Emotionals are not sociable people. You should schedule 2 times a month at least, that you both agree on, to have a date night. Plan to go by yourself if you need to go out more than that or have friends over. To force a social life on an emotional is complete torture for them… that’s what they have you for.
He goes out too much
- This guy is a physical (extrovert). They must, must get out and socialize. They were made to move and shake. He probably has a lot of friends and is always on the phone setting up the next rendezvous. This doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you or that he’s out cheating (doesn’t mean that he’s not either) just that him wanting to go out all the time is not ‘the’ indicator of cheating. You should get out as well with or without him. As long as he knows that you’re going to be there waiting when he gets back….why would he change anything?
He never compliments me
- This is typical emotional behavior (introvert). He thinks as long as he’s not complaining that you should know that everything’s all good. This can be solved by simply expressing to him that you love it when he compliments you… (say it in a sexy voice.) Encourage the behavior that you’d like to see in him and with a little patience you’ll begin to see the change.
He’s a liar and a cheater
All he talks about is work
- This is also a common trait of the emotional suggestible. Again, don’t take it personally, this is just how they were made. If you’d like him to talk more about family/relationship… talk to him about how what he’s doing on his job helps in the home. Encourage him to get involved with things in the home. When this is done without negative emotions, the result will be most pleasing. By the way it doesn’t happen over night, but what does?
He doesn’t talk to me at all
- This too is the emotional. Emotionals have to be coaxed out of their shells to be more interactive. This is still easily overcome. Try not talking so much yourself (I mean that in the most positive sense.) If you’d like to change a person’s behavior…become it. The less you talk the more he’ll inquire what’s wrong… there’s your opening. Tell him that you find his voice sexy and you wish he’d use it more…
He’s financially irresponsible
- This is typically physical (extrovert) behavior. Physicals respond ‘physically’ to whatever they’re feeling emotionally, therefore if a new car is going to make them ‘feel’ good, they’re going to buy it…and they can’t stop! They are normally the go getters so they will constantly have money but its only to spend on the next emotional trip. So, you have a few choices here. Try to convince him that you should handle the finances… that’s a hard sell I know. So, if that’s not an option tell him that he needs financial counseling before you end up in bankruptcy and trust me you will. Lastly, if those tactics don’t work there’s no hope so you can live with it and prepare to live a life of financial ups and downs or… you can leave.
He’s a Momma’s boy
- This means that his mom is probably a physical. Physical women are very…very attentive to their children…for their entire lives. It comes from a good place but can sometimes cause problems in a relationship. The funny thing about it is that if she’s a physical you’re likely one too. This is just a case of the same personalities trying to occupy the same space at the same time. The fix to this is, try to give them their time (without jealousy) that as a man his first priority is his immediate family. It’s a harsh thing to say but his mom has already done her job and should be (by this point) a side dish…not the main course. If this doesn’t work, become him for bit (spend more time with the kids or your parents) just to prove the point then go back to being yourself.
He doesn’t like to ‘do it’ as much as I do
- This is an emotional trait. Emotionals operate on cycles. They need to recuperate before doing it again. If you sit back and let him make the move you’ll get an idea of the type of cycle he’s on. So, if it’s a five-day cycle, the next week do it a day earlier and do this for a while then do it a day earlier. You’ll need a little patience with this because you’re retraining him to get on your schedule. It’s all mental and it is all learned behavior… change it.
He wants to do it too much
- This is physical behavior. Remember whatever is felt internally is going to expressed externally. They don’t like foreplay they just want to get in and get out. foreplay requires time, thinking and emotions…not their strong area. So, your task is a huge one but still fixable. You must first get rid of your own emotions for a bit. Even if you don’t want to do it, start making the moves on him without the forplay…they’re normally uneasy with this because it takes away the control of the situation. Most likely they’ll turn you down…now you have them in an ’emotional’ state take advantage of it. Tell him this is how you feel when he does it to you.
Also, read the earlier posts on the Physical vs. Emotional so this will make more sense. I hope this helps a little. There’s no magic cure for any situation but taking this approach allows you more control of yourself (stress) and ultimately your situation.
(photo credit – sciencephoto library)