Who’s the head of the house?

This topic is deeply rooted in cultural and religious acumen.  The majority of society lives by the rule that the man is the head and this practice has guided us along our merry way for eons; but let’s put this idea through the physical (extrovert) emotional (introvert) test and see how it fares.

First let’s examine the ‘head’.  Inside of our heads rest a brain (for most of us), this brain consists of two individual and unique sides.  Without going through a course on neurology, let’s just say that one side is analytical and the other is creative.  Both sides of the brain mostly control the complete opposite side of the body.  So, it’s nearly impossible to operate with only one side of the brain functioning.  One side of the brain plays a more dominant role, but if ever forced to take on the role of the other side couldn’t function even in its own duties as well as it could with the other side present.  When both sides are fully operational the brain has a better chance of working to its full potential.

Now,  how did it come to be that one person is named the head no matter what?  Size… if I’m bigger than you or have a bigger gun so to speak, then what I say is the law.  Let me give you an example of how allowing status to decide a leader is a bad example…. North Korea and many others as well but that’s just the one at the top of my head.  Just because someone fits the ‘profile’ doesn’t mean they’re right for the position.  It’s like having a police car with all the flashing lights but it has a Pinto engine, or an easter egg with nothing inside or…well, you get the picture.  I’ve also heard it said that the man is the head because he’s more in control of his emotions and makes more logical decisions….really?  We should be more focused on what the harvest of our relationships will bring not who gets to tell whom to plant the seeds.

How do the physical and emotional traits fit into this equation.  Ok let’s say the woman in the relationship is the physical (extrovert) and her husband is an emotional (introvert).  Well the wife is going to be more outspoken than the husband giving the appearance that she’s in charge or ‘the head’ .  This will cause immediate problems for said husband because now he’s ‘less of a man’ because he doesn’t ‘rule’ his house.  The wife is only being herself and will find herself not being herself if she has to ‘bow down’ to this less of a man.  This leads to the feeling of being trapped or imposed on by an outside force and causes more of an acting out in the relationship; now each person has something to prove to the other… or so they think.  The marriage is doomed for failure before it even gets started good…

Let’s say it’s a physical husband and an emotional wife.  The physical male is normally bossy, short-tempered and spontaneous all at the same time.  The emotional wife is the analytical one, she likes to think things alllll the way through before making a move… if she ever makes one.  So, the balance that can be obtained in this relationship is never realized because the husband will ‘typically’ not listen to the wife in important matters.  She takes to long to say it or she’s so ‘sensitive’  she makes more of things than they actually are and she’s always nagging.  Physicals based on their need to express everything they feel ‘physically’ are normally not very astute with their finances.  As I’ve said before they’re as good at spending money as they are making it.  The lucky ones find a way to make more than they could possibly spend…then they lose their minds! lol

So, who should be the head in these scenarios? I’ll give you a hint… it’s just like our brains.  Both sides/heads are contained in the head/house for balance and it’s not until both sides are working together properly as ONE head that the relationship can function and grow to its full potential!

– Dehypnotize

Photo credit [theoellsworth.blogspot.com] and [frackedagain.blogspot.com]

6 responses to “Who’s the head of the house?

  1. I GET THE CHILLS WHEN I THINK ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS!!! LOL!!!! good morning,…i was hoping that there would be a lot more comments on this one already!!! lol a balanced relationship, working together, in harmony,…… aaawwwwww doesn’t that sound so nice??? now,….just tell everyone just how, exactly, to do it!!!! another lol!!! is there a perfect handbook??? where all of this is easily understood and acceptable by both “partners?” what “if” the husband brought the handbook home??? would the wife feel that he was trying to be in control??? or, vice-versa??? lol we could probably call this, “THE POWER STRUGGLES OF MARITAL BLISS”

    there is a lake near my house,…this is where i go to say may morning prayers, gather my thoughts, and write. it is a very peaceful spot in the middle of a hurried society,…but, it is a very real and peaceful place. i need that. i like that. so,…the other day, as i watched the ducks and geese,…i saw something that i had seen before, yet this time, i really, really, thought about what i was seeing.

    there were two geese swimming together,…one in front, and the other, directly behind it……and i thought about our good old prideful human nature. not many of us would want to be the goose in the back. it would, or could, easily appear to be demeaning to us. we wouldn’t have a say in the matter (it would seem) to “where” we are going exactly. we just trust,…and follow. is this a “good” thing,…or a “bad” thing???

    and then i realized something else,…in nascar racing, two cars can form what is called a “draft”,..one car rides right on the backside of the front (lead) car (many times a teammates car) and they move along quiet nicely….anyway…

    what i saw was this,…the goose in the front, had to paddle his feet to go where they were going together,…creating a current below him,…this current also continued behind him,…making it “easier” for the one following. not to sound effeminate,..but it was kinda sweet. they worked together as (loving/practical) team. but,…the one in back had to trust the decisions and judgment of the one in front. and, from my experience, that is not always an easy thing to do. but,…as i watched,…i also listened. they were very near me as they swam ahead. very quietly,…i could hear each of them take turns quietly quacking to another, very gently. to anyone else, it may have appeared the lead goose was going where ever he wanted??? i don’t think that was the case at all. i think the one following was making gentle suggestions. and, lovingly. this is just my two cents worth.

    eventually, they got out of the water to rest. the male stood in a nice spot. then the female got out of the water, she looked at around at her surroundings closely and slowly,…and then waddled up right next to her mate,…her friend,…a nestled in right beside him. and i thought,…why can’t we, as intelligent humans,…do that???

    • lol…one word; suggestibility. We act according to what we’ve learned since birth. I am also writing a book on this (lol) and how easy it actually ‘can be’ to work as a team in a relationship. A lot of times the appearance of distrust is really the ‘balancer’ in the relationship. A person should welcome a challenge to their ideas this allows it to be processed thoroughly and you actually end up with a better ‘product’. No one person has all of the answers and the other person in the relationship is there to ‘oppose’ you. Simply accepting that the other person is your Opposite goes a long way in a less stressful relationship. Thanks for writing ‘John’.

  2. This is a good post. I think the reason why there are not more comments on this is because people’s paradigms have a brick wall. A new way of thinking has crashed and shattered. Now they can’t pick up the pieces. I always heard and was always taught that the male is supposed to be the head of the household. I disagreed with that for the longest. A relationship to me is working together, as a team, two opposites uniting as one. The Chinese gets this which is what the Yin-Yang is really about. The Yin-Yang had nothing to do with martial arts, but it is a symbol of two opposites with a hint of the opposite already in them as one.

    • Amen! You are so right. That’s why I’ve started this ‘Dehypnotize’ movement, we don’t know that we’ve been hypnotize into the way we think now. We believe its our own actions and thoughts and of course we’re always right in them. Also, this information is only for those ready to receive it, thank you very much for reading and commenting!

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