Here’s how communication gets twisted in most conversations. The Physical hears or learns by literal communication but speaks with an inferred language and at length. Conversely, the Emotional hears/learns through inferred language but speaks literally and with very little words. The trick here though is that you can be an emotional suggestible (how you learn) and a physical sexual (how you act). This means that a person could come across as being quiet and shy until you get to know them and then you’re like, “What happened to that shy person I met?” This is incongruent behavior and it normally has unintended consequences. In this case, the physical is attracted to what he thinks is an emotional only to find that he’s in a relationship with himself. Or in the case where the emotional presents himself as outgoing and sociable only to get into the relationship and become the hermit that he truly is.
Where does this behavior come from? Mostly from our parents but of course our environments play a major role as well. If one parent is an extreme Physical, the other is likely an extreme Emotional…they’d have to be. The child will pick up the extreme trait of both parents and shape it into some sort of blend of the two. If they learn to accept this as normal behavior they will replicate this in their own relationship and will never get why they don’t work. There are options, either work on balancing your/their behavior or find someone who’s just as incongruent as you in the opposite behavior and somehow this stuff works out.So the next time you get into an argument with someone step back and ask yourself, ” Am I being too Physical or too Emotional?” The key to effective communication is understanding how the OTHER person communicates. This only allows you to get your point across more effectively if that’s what you’re trying to do…
Till the next time,