Problem Relationships

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     This of course is going to be about the Physical and Emotional characters.  Why do we use the term physical/emotional to describe these personalities?  The answer is that the Physical expresses his/her emotions physically whereas the Emotional withdraws into him/herself when they feel emotion. You may recognize these traits more so when a person experiences rejection. The physical will become more aggressive and come forward, but the emotional will become more passive and withdraw.  The physical (seemingly) thrives on confrontation and emotional avoids it at all costs.  The more the physical comes forward the more the emotional will withdraw.  So, to the physical, if you ever hear the emotional say during an argument, “Ok, fine.” That doesn’t mean that everything is fine.  That means watch your back. Although the emotional appears to have backed down and run away, this is not the case.  They will find a way to express themselves in a different place, at a later time.

Here’s how communication gets twisted in most conversations.  The Physical hears or learns by literal communication but speaks with an inferred language and at length.  Conversely, the Emotional hears/learns through inferred language but speaks literally and with very little words.  The trick here though is that you can be an emotional suggestible (how you learn) and a physical sexual (how you act).  This means that a person could come across as being quiet and shy until you get to know them and then you’re like, “What happened to that shy person I met?” This is incongruent behavior and it normally has unintended consequences.  In this case, the physical is attracted to what he thinks is an emotional only to find that he’s in a relationship with himself.  Or in the case where the emotional presents himself as outgoing and sociable only to get into the relationship and become the hermit that he truly is.

Where does this behavior come from?  Mostly from our parents but of course our environments play a major role as well.  If one parent is an extreme Physical, the other is likely an extreme Emotional…they’d have to be.  The child will pick up the extreme trait of both parents and shape it into some sort of blend of the two. If they learn to accept this as normal behavior they will replicate this in their own relationship and will never get why they don’t work.  There are options, either work on balancing your/their behavior or find someone who’s just as incongruent as you in the opposite behavior and somehow this stuff works out.

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So the next time you get into an argument with someone step back and ask yourself, ” Am I being too Physical or too Emotional?” The key to effective communication is understanding how the OTHER person communicates. This only allows you to get your point across more effectively if that’s what you’re trying to do…
Till the next time,
T Scott

7 responses to “Problem Relationships

  1. how are you??? yup,….jacked up humans have jacked up relationships, huh????? AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you know,…i sometimes wish that i was delusional, that way, i could just imagine that there are these tiny, tiny, brain eating people/creature things who crawl up our noses as we sleep and harvest the cells from our brains that give us half a chance of having an I.Q. high enough to let us know that it just might be a really great idea to pull our own heads from our as…..oooops,…i mean,…from our rectums,….because if we leave it stuck up there much longer, we may actually start mistake our sh** to be the truth we need so badly to make it all better.

    hhhmmmmm….i think i now know where the true origin of the word “crack head” comes from???????

  2. One again … Brilliant! I View things the same way (which is why my relationship is great now) but you have such eloquency!!! I’m sure my journal writings on this subject are no where near as clear. Wonderful way you express yourself!

  3. Hey there! Nice read. A funny thing you point out we get these traits from our parents. I grew up with only my mom and she dislikes conflict, and withdraws when she sees it coming, so I grew up the same way. My friends are mostly physical people and when we start arguing about opinions, I sorta back away. My best friends and romantic interests are always extremely physical though, why is that? Opposites really attract I guess?

  4. Pingback: Establishing Boundaries and Effectively Dealing with Unacceptable Behaviors « sarahpern

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