Stars vs. Black Holes (Which one are you?)


 

Photo credit: www.scitechdaily.com

The next time you’re out on a clear night; take a look up at the stars. If you live in a rural area you know more of what the true night sky looks like than someone who lives in the city. The true night sky is amazing, almost scary when you know what you’re looking at. The ancients ordered their lives around the stars and we continue a lot of those same practices today.
I’ve always been fascinated by the idea of opposites so stars and black holes seemed to be a good analogy for the Physical (Extrovert) and Emotional (Introvert) behavior. Let’s look at some of the characteristics of both ideas.

 

Star/ Physicalfurturityorg
Shines brightly/ Likes attention
Very warm and comforting/ Like to give physical attention
Emits energy/The giver or talker not good with receiving i.e. listening
Can burn you if you get too close/ Passion can be perceived as tempers or anger
Imposes its energy on everyone/ Life of the party, knows and talks to everyone

Black hole/ Emotional
Cold dark and mysterious/ Shy ‘Emo’ type likes to wear dark colors
Draws others to them/ don’t like initiating conversation, likes for the moves to be made on them
Lives off of the energy of stars/ Likes the spontaneity of the Physical, another Emotional would bore them
Blends in to the surroundings/ doesn’t like attention, dresses very conservatively
Can never truly see what’s going on inside of them/ internalizes their feelings, considered to be deep

If you subscribe to the idea that we’re made up of the same thing as the entire universe then this actually makes a little more sense. We are simply opposing elements wrapped in a human form. Opposites have been described in too many ways to count but here are a few: Good/Evil, Cain/Abel, Horus/Set, Republican/ Democrat, Black/ White, Rich/ Poor, Christian/ Muslim, science/ religion and on and on.

It’s like marriage, the more time you spend stating and defending your way or side of doing things, the longer it’s going to take to realize your own potential. You’re supposed to be with your opposite personality to develop the other side of yourself. This creates balance and synergy and more importantly opens a new realm of possibilities in your life. How much time do we spend arguing and fighting about which side is right or wrong? I can think of so many more productive ways to spend our time and I’m sure you can as well.

The irony of this is that we all embody both sides. It’s unfortunate that we limit ourselves to one side and neglect the other due to the lack of understanding it. Our true potential as mankind can never be realized until our true potential as individuals is discovered.

I have a little secret to tell you… there is no right or wrong in this matrix, only deficiencies in the way we communicate our emotions to others.

Dehypnotize

Language Art (The art of Language)


Have you ever been in an argument with someone and it seemed that they just didn’t get it?  No matter how many ways you’d try to explain your side it seemed that you were speaking two different languages.  Well guess what, you were.

This post is going to show you how to ‘win’ most arguments.  The key is to first be a good listener.  We all have modalities of communication that are unique to ourselves. They are visual, auditory and kinesthetic. Although we all use some form of each, there is one that you’re prone to use more commonly.

For example: My modality is auditory, that means that I add weight to every word that a person says.  I pay attention not to just what they say but how they say it.  I mostly don’t look into the eyes of the person I’m speaking with because for me the visual is a distraction.  I want to hear any changes in your tone and your choice of nouns verbs etc.  It’s been said that if a person doesn’t look you in the eyes when they’re communicating…they’re lying.  No, whoever said that was lying.  Try this one day: Go to or find on TV, a live performance by your favorite artist.  Listen to them with your eyes open, then with them closed. You will notice a distinct difference in the two.  A person that uses the auditory modality will use phrases like, ” Do you hear me?” “Listen to me!” “Talk to you later.”  They tend to have what’s called the phone head…that’s when they lean their head to the side as if to say I’m really listening.

The person that uses the visual modality will speak in visual terms. “Do you see what I’m saying?”  “See you later.” or “Look, I’m trying to show you something.  You will also find that they’re normally looking skyward as if they’re seeing a movie in their mind….they are. They will describe their point by ‘painting a picture’ for you to see what they’re saying.

The last of these modalities is the kinesthetic.  This modality likes to touch. They don’t feel like you’ve gotten their point unless they’ve touched you in some way. They will use phrases like: “Do you feel me?”  Let’s touch basis later.” or “You’re not in touch with reality.”  Elaine from Seinfeld is a very good example of this modality.

When you have two people speaking in different modalities, it can be hard for them to truly understand each other because they’re speaking different languages.  The argument can only escalate from there and typically ends up with one calling the other names or worse; all due to not understanding the art of language.

So, next time you’re talking or listening to some else speak, pay attention the key words they use and use them back with them.  They’ll think you’re the best listener and sooo easy to talk to. Why? Because you’re …speaking their language.

That’s all for now.  Happy communicating.

– Dehypnotize

Why Do Men Cheat?


Sigh…Well unlike all of the stories I’ve heard up to now there’s not one reason that anyone cheats.  However, the many reasons for cheating can be separated into two categories… you guessed it : Physical and Emotional.

Let me clarify these two behaviors quickly.  The Physical is generally known as the aggressor, the alpha male/female, whereas the Emotional is known for being the passive or the quiet one.  Unfortunately, it has been taught that being the physical is the ‘correct’ way to become successful in life…I wonder who perpetuated that idea.  I disagree.  The key to success is identifying and developing your strengths and applying them in the right place for the right purpose.

So, let’s start with the Emotional male/female.  The emotional personality comes across as shy, quiet, the cool one, a good listener or even sensitive.  The substructure of this behavior amounts to the lack of desire for confrontation creating the yes man/woman.  They are called emotionals because they put their emotions in front to protect their physical bodies; such as bashfulness, embarrassment or simply silence.  As it relates to sex, the emotional is normally waiting for the physical to make the move.  So, if you find that the two of you do a lot of waiting for the other to make the first move, you’re probably both emotionals. This causes a tremendous amount of issues in the bedroom.  The emotional needs to be warmed up first to have sex whereas the physical likes to jump right in feet first.  If the emotional feels that their needs are not being satisfied, they’re not going to ‘confront’ the physical about it, they’re typically going to tell a friend.  In the event that this friend is of the opposite sex, they’ll feel like someone actually listens to them and understands them.  Unfortunately, they’re probably talking to another emotional who agrees with them and gives advice against the physical.  This ultimately leads to affairs and the couple breaking up.

Now for the physical.  The physical is the light-hearted socialite that never meets a stranger.  They’re labeled physicals because their emotions are tied closely yo their physical actions.  Unlike the emotional, they can curse you out one minute and be your friend again in the next. They’re erroneously called emotionals most times because of their flamboyant expressions of their feelings.  They’re called go-getters, over-reactors, on the edge or quick-witted, bossy, short-tempered and all out physical.  This is why the emotional turns away and wont continue to fight or argue with them.  The physical mistakes this submission as a win, when in fact the emotional is internally making plans for revenge.When its time for the physical to have sex and the emotional turns them away, that doesn’t mean that the feeling went away.  So, what do they do?  They call up some friends head out to the bar and pick up another physical who likes to have sex as much as they do.  However, the physical will not typically choose another physical to be in a relationship with…unless there’s money involved.  That goes for both personalities actually.

So, at the end of the day, people cheat because of the lack of understanding what the other person needs in the relationship.  If you knew how to communicate properly with your mate…you can get anything from them that you ever dreamed of.  Now, this is not the end all be all of cheating but it is why most problems occur in the bedroom.

In closing, I’d like to stress that there is no right or wrong person in a relationship, there are only different ways of communicating our feelings.  Both parties have to be willing to see it from the other side.  Balance in a relationship comes from expressing your will their way or vice-versa.

Dehypnotize-

The Silver Tongue


In high school I was the quiet type.  I envied the guys with the ‘silver tongue’ method of communicating; it seemed that they got all the women.  Now I had my share of girlfriends don’t get me wrong, but compared to these guys I was a ranked amatuer.  Most of the girls I dated was because they liked me first, then I’d learn to like them in return.  It seemed that I was doomed to the left overs of these egotistical word smiths. 

Until one day…I moved to a new city.  I could create a new identity and become the personality I admired from a diistance.  The city was overrun with beautiful single professional women.  A friend told me that all I needed to get a woman here was a nice haircut…Ha.  I was like a kid in a candy store…every size, shape or shade was there for the taking.  I didn’t know where to begin.  It didn’t matter, because in this city, the women were the agressors.  I thought it was a fluke that  nice looking women wanted to talk to me badly enough to innitiate conversation.  Once it happened five more times…I was convenced that I’d died and gone to heaven.  I never considered my self some god of good looks (and still don’t) but there were so many women that I was getting dates by default..lol.  Subsequently my plan to become this A type personality was thwarted.  Women actually liked that I was not like all the other guys that approached them…I was ‘different’ they’d say.  I had no idea that this world existed but I liked it to say the least.

At the end of the day I learned that you don’t have to be someone else to be successful in life…you only need to put yourself where your personality would be most effective.

P.S. The silver tongue method can be taught.

– Dehypnotize