Language Art (The art of Language)


Have you ever been in an argument with someone and it seemed that they just didn’t get it?  No matter how many ways you’d try to explain your side it seemed that you were speaking two different languages.  Well guess what, you were.

This post is going to show you how to ‘win’ most arguments.  The key is to first be a good listener.  We all have modalities of communication that are unique to ourselves. They are visual, auditory and kinesthetic. Although we all use some form of each, there is one that you’re prone to use more commonly.

For example: My modality is auditory, that means that I add weight to every word that a person says.  I pay attention not to just what they say but how they say it.  I mostly don’t look into the eyes of the person I’m speaking with because for me the visual is a distraction.  I want to hear any changes in your tone and your choice of nouns verbs etc.  It’s been said that if a person doesn’t look you in the eyes when they’re communicating…they’re lying.  No, whoever said that was lying.  Try this one day: Go to or find on TV, a live performance by your favorite artist.  Listen to them with your eyes open, then with them closed. You will notice a distinct difference in the two.  A person that uses the auditory modality will use phrases like, ” Do you hear me?” “Listen to me!” “Talk to you later.”  They tend to have what’s called the phone head…that’s when they lean their head to the side as if to say I’m really listening.

The person that uses the visual modality will speak in visual terms. “Do you see what I’m saying?”  “See you later.” or “Look, I’m trying to show you something.  You will also find that they’re normally looking skyward as if they’re seeing a movie in their mind….they are. They will describe their point by ‘painting a picture’ for you to see what they’re saying.

The last of these modalities is the kinesthetic.  This modality likes to touch. They don’t feel like you’ve gotten their point unless they’ve touched you in some way. They will use phrases like: “Do you feel me?”  Let’s touch basis later.” or “You’re not in touch with reality.”  Elaine from Seinfeld is a very good example of this modality.

When you have two people speaking in different modalities, it can be hard for them to truly understand each other because they’re speaking different languages.  The argument can only escalate from there and typically ends up with one calling the other names or worse; all due to not understanding the art of language.

So, next time you’re talking or listening to some else speak, pay attention the key words they use and use them back with them.  They’ll think you’re the best listener and sooo easy to talk to. Why? Because you’re …speaking their language.

That’s all for now.  Happy communicating.

– Dehypnotize

The Silver Tongue


In high school I was the quiet type.  I envied the guys with the ‘silver tongue’ method of communicating; it seemed that they got all the women.  Now I had my share of girlfriends don’t get me wrong, but compared to these guys I was a ranked amatuer.  Most of the girls I dated was because they liked me first, then I’d learn to like them in return.  It seemed that I was doomed to the left overs of these egotistical word smiths. 

Until one day…I moved to a new city.  I could create a new identity and become the personality I admired from a diistance.  The city was overrun with beautiful single professional women.  A friend told me that all I needed to get a woman here was a nice haircut…Ha.  I was like a kid in a candy store…every size, shape or shade was there for the taking.  I didn’t know where to begin.  It didn’t matter, because in this city, the women were the agressors.  I thought it was a fluke that  nice looking women wanted to talk to me badly enough to innitiate conversation.  Once it happened five more times…I was convenced that I’d died and gone to heaven.  I never considered my self some god of good looks (and still don’t) but there were so many women that I was getting dates by default..lol.  Subsequently my plan to become this A type personality was thwarted.  Women actually liked that I was not like all the other guys that approached them…I was ‘different’ they’d say.  I had no idea that this world existed but I liked it to say the least.

At the end of the day I learned that you don’t have to be someone else to be successful in life…you only need to put yourself where your personality would be most effective.

P.S. The silver tongue method can be taught.

– Dehypnotize

You might be…ll


If you…

Like to  hang out and socialize but your mate always wants to stay home

Are the touchy-feely type and like to get close so people really understand you

Would like to…or do have sex three or more times a day

Are the first to speak when you think you know the answer

(Women) have more guy friends, play brothers and cousins than girl friends

(Men) need to hang out with the fellas at least twice a week

PHYSICAL

If you…

Would just like a quiet evening at home sometimes but your mate keeps pestering you to go out

After having sex would just like to be left alone

Like to just get to the point and can be spared the details

Like to wait a few days between sexual activities to allow the passion to rebuild

Really only have one true friend and you talk more to them about your problems than you do with your mate

Are terrified of being recognized in front of an audience

EMOTIONAL

Most people thought that Brad and Jennifer made a great couple, unfortunately, they didn’t think so.  In a recent interview, Brad expressed that the relationship was boring.  I wonder why that was?  Because they are both emotionals.  Now look at how the relationship between he and Angelina is working out.  Because…Angelina is a physical.  You should consider this when choosing a mate, it will make your life a lot easier.  Can you think of any other famous physical/emotionals… here are a few I’ve come up with.

President Obama – Emotional       Michelle Obama – Physical

Will Smith – Emotional                   Jada – Physical

Stedman – Emotional                      Oprah – Physical

Kim – Emotional                              Kris – Physical

Tia -Emotional                                 Tamara – Physical

Ochocinco – Physical                       Evelyn – Physical ……hmm

Nick – Emotional                              Mariah – Physical

Frazier – Emotional                          Ali – Physical

Bi-Focals


Have you ever thought about the fact that the only thing that separates how we feel on the inside from what we express on the outside is merely a very thin layer of skin…and for some of us hair.  Our eyes and ears record the stories of our lives.

Speaking of eyes, let’s start there. The eyes are like the lens of a camera and the brain a recording device. What the eyes see, the brain records for current or later use. Our brains are so powerful that we’re recording more than we can actually keep up with, but it’s still being recorded. The ears are the other key contributor here; they’re a function all to themselves.  You could very well be looking at someone but hear something completely different than what they said.  Now, the most intriguing part of this process to me is the transition between what went in and what comes out.  How we interpret and process what goes into us is what our lives are really all about. Its like we’re our own photo processing centers since no two people can physically see the same thing the same way; there become an infinite number of ways to see the same thing. So throughout our lives we’re constantly recording and storing data and emitting our interpretations of this data all over everyone else. Why do you think that is?

I see our minds as a sort of vortex. A place that an infinite amount of possibilities and realities all exist in the same place at the same time. However, what’s happening on the inside is affected by what’s going on outside. In other words aren’t we only products of what surrounds us?  All of our ups and downs are based on the environment that we find ourselves in; conversely the environment that we’re in is based on our decision to be there which was influenced by how we felt…

As I sit and write this blog I’m trying to get out of me the interpretation of a feeling that was created by afects around me as well.  There’s a riddle here to be solved.  How do I gain control of the world that is within when its being influenced by the world without?  Since babies we have strived to express what we felt inside to the world outside.  We dress up in our lies each morning and try to show that we have control over ourselves when just behind that thin layer of skin a plethera of feelings, thoughts and beliefs are dying to be exposed.

As I watch the process of the calamity that erodes the sanctity of the land in the Middle East, at times I almost find it funny how two peoples with (I’d put money on it) very similar DNA sequences, could hate one another so feverently.  This is all based on their belief systems and their insistance that everyone else possess the same.  We don’t even have to go that far to see this same behavior.  In our own homes, aren’t arguments simply that one person sees things differently than the other?

Time has a funny way of revealing things and it’s finally revealed to me that life is just the way we see it….

The Blank Page


     

     Talk to any writer and they’ll tell you of the overwhelming feeling of anxiety that comes when staring at a blank  page.  Be it stagnation from a temporary block or not being able to get it all out fast enough, the experience can be quite daunting.

     Take a look at a sheet of paper.  Notice how the lines create a boxing-in effect, the page itself is a box.  This box represents our lives and the lines are the days of our lives.  The top of the page indicates the beginning of our lives where nothing is written but our names.  We learn to respond to being called by this label.  As we go down the page it would start to be filled with what we were told that life is all about.  The middle part of the page would represent us beginning to understand what we’ve been told and the process of acting accordingly.  The bottom of the page would represent how we began to live our lives according to what we’ve learned and now understand.

     Today I’d like to propose something to you that would change your life as you now know it… turn the page over!  That’s right.  Turn over the page and this time you get to name yourself!  This time you get to write your own path.  Who do you want to be?  Where would you like to go?  You are now in control, all you have to do is write it down and act on it!  Once you’ve filled that page…go to the next one and keep writing until the book of your life is done.  I promise, it really is that simple.

      So, let there be a great sound in the air from the sound of pens scratching the paper and boots hitting the ground… let’s go! 

T Scott

Which Way Is Up


 

    

 I’ve always been curious about the Universe; the galaxies, nebulae, the stars and so forth.  Even the word loosely translated means Uni (one) – Verse (Collection of words by an author or writer).  Hmm…One of the things that still intrigues me to this day is our prospective of said Universe.  Given the fact that no matter where we stand on the Earth, from our prospective, we’re standing on top of it.  Here in Atlanta, from the Earth’s prospective, we’re actually on the side of the world.  Well how is it  then that we appear to be looking up at the moon or the sun?  According to the models that I’ve seen, we’re actually looking ‘over’ at these celestial bodies, not up. 

     Here again we’re faced with accepting what has been given to us as truth, when in fact, the truth is relative to how much we know at the time.  Let’s examine a few of these now debunked truths shall we?

  • The Earth is flat –  Aristotle offered evidence of the Earth was a sphere around 330 BC
  • The Sun revolves around the earth – In the 1600’s Galileo was met with stiff opposition from philosophers and clerics for his support of the heliocentric theory (belief that the Sun is at the center of the Solar System)
  • Y2k is Armageddon – We’re still here
  • Smart people are witches – Are you a witch?…Well are you?

     I could go on and on but the point is, no matter what was said to the people who believed these theories, they were sold on these ‘facts’.  I have a real problem accepting my role as the customer.  That is to say I’m tired of buying everything presented to me with alluring packaging.    I’ll only use myself as an example since I know I’m the only one who does this.

     When will we become the merchants of our lives?  When will we choose to control the products/information that we consume?  We don’t even question the information that has been given to us, that we base our everyday lives on!  Why? Well, that would make us rebels, weird or different.  People would laugh at us for not being as ignorant as they are….really? 

 Why stand on top of a world of which you have no control?

That’s all for now,

T Scott

Can You Relate


     How many times have we heard that the most important thing in a relationship is communication?  Now, how many times have we been told what that means specifically?

    The concept of physical and emotional behavior created by Dr. John Kappas Ph.D, will allow us to understand more clearly what communication has meant to you and what it could mean to you going foward. You’ll wonder why no one has been talking about this before now.

     This concept is based on two individuals in a relationship described as dating, married, family friends  etc.  This includes traditional and same-sex relationships a like.  We traditionally have called these behaviors passive or aggressive however, this limits our understanding of what truly lies below the surface.

     Let’s begin with the emotional. We’d normally apply this type of behavior to women when in fact men or women may  display these same characteristics.  I’ll start by exposing differences between the two personalities then I’ll get into what these differences mean. 

     Who’s the person in your relationship that is normally the first to walk away from the argument and reply “Fine, I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”? Who’s the one that is always complaining about being cut off during the argument? Who seems to be the most indecisive? Here’s a good one; who’s the one that’s always looking for the meaning behind the words or always trying to read between the lines? Do you see how these could apply to male of female?  These are just a few of the characteristics of  the emotional behavior.

     The Physical.  The physical is the one in the relationship that has to be the boss.  They’re normally the outgoing type.  They like to get all in your space when they’re talking.  They have to touch to communicate. They’re often accused of speaking without thinking or simply speaking too much.  They’re typically very fashion conscious.  Again this could apply to male or female.

     For some unknown reason, these two opposites attract each other and try to change one into the other… This is the beginning of all relationship issues!  Simply put, it’s not until we understand ourselves can we understand ourselves in a relationship. 

Stay tuned to learn more about how these personalities are developed and how they play off of each other.

T Scott