Do Men Have Cylces?


     As it relates to mood and sex,….sigh…yes, men do in fact have cycles.  In the emotionally sexual male it appears, at times, as a lack of interest in their partner.  It’s expressed as an over-active sex drive in the physically sexual male. By the way, women fall into one or the other category as well.

     Let’s start with the emotional.  As it relates to sex, the emotional operates somewhat like a battery; after being used, he may require time to recharge.  That’s not to say that they can’t perform everyday, it’s just not likely to be the same enegy level each time.  Each person’s cycle is different.  They could be on a 1-7 day cycle or more as I recently discovered while working with a client. 

     The emotional is typically not up for physical touch after sex.  They’ve had their fill of physical contact for that moment.  Touch feels irritating to them and their bodies may even tend to be cold, until their next cycle day.  So, how do you know when that ‘cycle day is?  When they begin to show more interest in you physically that’s a good indicator.  That’s when their batteries have fully recharged and they’re ready.

    Why is that?  Well, emotional’s are not as ’emotionally’ connected to their bodies as the physicals are; remember they internalize and analyze their feelings.  Therefore, the mind has to rejuvenate the body.  During this time don’t expect a lot of affection or attention… they are not ‘feeling it’. 

     The physical on the other hand expresses their emotions with their body so you may find that they can do it five times a day or more in some cases.  They don’t mind cuddling afterwards either, for the most part.  The cycle of the physical is much more frequent than that of the emotional.  They typically don’t ‘release’ as much as the emotional each time and are therefore able to release multiple times.  That’s not to say (again) that there’ll be fireworks each time; it’s just that its possible to do it.  The physical may become very irritated if they’re not able to release all of this energy within their cycle time frame; but more importantly, their physical body’s will display signs of stress… really.

      The key here is to understand your own behaviour or cycle in an effort to get it into sync with your partner’s.  The physical could indeed influence the emotional’s cycle by only approaching them only on their cycle days; which will require something that the physical typically runs short on…patience.  However, the sex will be ten times better, from there start approaching one day earlier and take the time to get them ‘warmed up’.  So now a seven-day cycle becomes a six-day and so on…

     In closing, no matter who or what you ultimately choose to be in relationship with, they’re going to be your opposite; that’s what attracted you to them.  This means that there will be issues. No Matter What!  So if you know this before hand, why not be prepared to solve them creatively as opposed to allowing your differences to end what always starts as a beautiful romance.

– Thanks Dr. Kappas

T Scott

The Run-Away Guest


     My wife invited a co-worker to our home the other day for a brief business meeting.  After sitting and discussing a pending sale for a few moments, the co-worker asks, “I’m sorry could I bother you for a drink?”  My wife, immediately apologizes for failing to offer before being asked and replies “Sure, of course!”  Before she’s able to complete the sentence, her guest pops up, walks up the stairs into the kitchen and finally into the refrigerator to claim her just reward. (Insert sound of tires screeching to a halt.)

     Now, I don’t know how you were raised but in our house it was forbidden and punishable by death to walk through someone’s house as a guest without first being invited to do so; let alone go into their refrigerator… please.  So my wife scurries to corral the run-away guest and helps her back to her ‘rightful’ place in the den with her drink in hand. 

     So, later that evening we began to discuss the event over dinner.  We had a similar up-bringing as it related to the matter so we both agreed that it was a little strange.  We then started to compare stories of other friends who’ve had similar experiences and their take on the matter.  Some people don’t seem to have an issue with this behavior and you could actually go into their homes and do the same thing, no problems.

     So, I started to look at the subconscious behavior behind the physical act.  She expressed that she wanted something and she got up and made it happen.  She didn’t wait for the moment to be just right, she didn’t even ask for directions to the kitchen, she just went for it.  That’s a learned behavior.  

    How many of us are sitting around waiting for that glass of water to be brought to us?  How much longer are you going to wait for it?  How would you know what was actually put into the glass?  And we looked at her as if she were the strange one….

T Scott

Can You Relate


     How many times have we heard that the most important thing in a relationship is communication?  Now, how many times have we been told what that means specifically?

    The concept of physical and emotional behavior created by Dr. John Kappas Ph.D, will allow us to understand more clearly what communication has meant to you and what it could mean to you going foward. You’ll wonder why no one has been talking about this before now.

     This concept is based on two individuals in a relationship described as dating, married, family friends  etc.  This includes traditional and same-sex relationships a like.  We traditionally have called these behaviors passive or aggressive however, this limits our understanding of what truly lies below the surface.

     Let’s begin with the emotional. We’d normally apply this type of behavior to women when in fact men or women may  display these same characteristics.  I’ll start by exposing differences between the two personalities then I’ll get into what these differences mean. 

     Who’s the person in your relationship that is normally the first to walk away from the argument and reply “Fine, I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”? Who’s the one that is always complaining about being cut off during the argument? Who seems to be the most indecisive? Here’s a good one; who’s the one that’s always looking for the meaning behind the words or always trying to read between the lines? Do you see how these could apply to male of female?  These are just a few of the characteristics of  the emotional behavior.

     The Physical.  The physical is the one in the relationship that has to be the boss.  They’re normally the outgoing type.  They like to get all in your space when they’re talking.  They have to touch to communicate. They’re often accused of speaking without thinking or simply speaking too much.  They’re typically very fashion conscious.  Again this could apply to male or female.

     For some unknown reason, these two opposites attract each other and try to change one into the other… This is the beginning of all relationship issues!  Simply put, it’s not until we understand ourselves can we understand ourselves in a relationship. 

Stay tuned to learn more about how these personalities are developed and how they play off of each other.

T Scott