Physical (Over protective) Father

Note: Physical =Extrovert (Also, this is the extreme case of this personality)

The physical father is known by many names; the go getter, a leader, the A type personality, hustler, playa playa, a ‘real man’, the life of the party, quick-tempered, a**hole, mover and shaker… and the list goes on.  So let’s see how this personality works in a relationship.

The physical male/female are called this because of their physical connection to their emotions.  This means if they think or feel it, they typically are going to do or say it and typically before thinking or caring about the ’emotional’ consequences behind it.  This is also the reason for their promiscuity, quick tongue and most importantly spontaneity.

Most likely you’ve married an emotional that sees you as bossy, never home, needing too much sex and a serious charmer…to other women that is.  When you walk into a room people tense up because they never know when you’re going to snap about something insignificant and then  go on like nothing ever happened.

I almost don’t need to tell you how to make your home life a little easier because (I mean this in the best way) you’re not a good listener; you’re a great talker.  You’re a giver, not a receiver but the havoc that you wreak on those around you clouds your good intentions.  People don’t take your candor the way that you mean for them to…they take it personally.

The physical affection that you show your family is unmatched, however your quick temper and passion can easily turn into physical abuse.  This just comes from your need to ‘physically’ express your emotions.  You will effectively turn your children into bullies, outspoken problem kids in school.  If your child is always getting into trouble for talking in class or not following directions…its very likely that you’re already successful in passing down your traits.

I want to reiterate that this personality is not bad or negative, it just is! The whole purpose of attracting your opposite is to bring balance to your life.  There is nothing wrong with the person that you’re with, they must have a smaller personality to make room for your huge one.  If you think that you’d be better off with someone more like yourself…ha please go try it.  You’d make great friends with a physical partner but you’d kill each other in a relationship. You’d argue all the time over what would seem like little things.  You’d always be gone…so would she.  The biggest argument would be…you’re not the boss of me!!!

Ok, lastly let me say that because you have sex with  your body and not your mind (emotions), it’s harder for you to be satisfied.  This leads to late nights at the office, more ‘hanging out’ with the guys etc.  What you may not know is that although your emotional partner may not face you directly about your behavior, they are doing something about it.  You should talk to: Lionel Richie,  Al Green and most painfully John Bobbitt.

At the end of the day it’s just about balance; so physical father if you’d like to make home life a little better; count to ten before reacting in any situation…calm down then speak or take action…everything doesn’t require a fight!

– Dehypnotize

Related Topics:  Emotional Mother, Physical Mother, Emotional Father

Language Art (The art of Language)

Have you ever been in an argument with someone and it seemed that they just didn’t get it?  No matter how many ways you’d try to explain your side it seemed that you were speaking two different languages.  Well guess what, you were.

This post is going to show you how to ‘win’ most arguments.  The key is to first be a good listener.  We all have modalities of communication that are unique to ourselves. They are visual, auditory and kinesthetic. Although we all use some form of each, there is one that you’re prone to use more commonly.

For example: My modality is auditory, that means that I add weight to every word that a person says.  I pay attention not to just what they say but how they say it.  I mostly don’t look into the eyes of the person I’m speaking with because for me the visual is a distraction.  I want to hear any changes in your tone and your choice of nouns verbs etc.  It’s been said that if a person doesn’t look you in the eyes when they’re communicating…they’re lying.  No, whoever said that was lying.  Try this one day: Go to or find on TV, a live performance by your favorite artist.  Listen to them with your eyes open, then with them closed. You will notice a distinct difference in the two.  A person that uses the auditory modality will use phrases like, ” Do you hear me?” “Listen to me!” “Talk to you later.”  They tend to have what’s called the phone head…that’s when they lean their head to the side as if to say I’m really listening.

The person that uses the visual modality will speak in visual terms. “Do you see what I’m saying?”  “See you later.” or “Look, I’m trying to show you something.  You will also find that they’re normally looking skyward as if they’re seeing a movie in their mind….they are. They will describe their point by ‘painting a picture’ for you to see what they’re saying.

The last of these modalities is the kinesthetic.  This modality likes to touch. They don’t feel like you’ve gotten their point unless they’ve touched you in some way. They will use phrases like: “Do you feel me?”  Let’s touch basis later.” or “You’re not in touch with reality.”  Elaine from Seinfeld is a very good example of this modality.

When you have two people speaking in different modalities, it can be hard for them to truly understand each other because they’re speaking different languages.  The argument can only escalate from there and typically ends up with one calling the other names or worse; all due to not understanding the art of language.

So, next time you’re talking or listening to some else speak, pay attention the key words they use and use them back with them.  They’ll think you’re the best listener and sooo easy to talk to. Why? Because you’re …speaking their language.

That’s all for now.  Happy communicating.

– Dehypnotize

You might be…ll

If you…

Like to  hang out and socialize but your mate always wants to stay home

Are the touchy-feely type and like to get close so people really understand you

Would like to…or do have sex three or more times a day

Are the first to speak when you think you know the answer

(Women) have more guy friends, play brothers and cousins than girl friends

(Men) need to hang out with the fellas at least twice a week


If you…

Would just like a quiet evening at home sometimes but your mate keeps pestering you to go out

After having sex would just like to be left alone

Like to just get to the point and can be spared the details

Like to wait a few days between sexual activities to allow the passion to rebuild

Really only have one true friend and you talk more to them about your problems than you do with your mate

Are terrified of being recognized in front of an audience


Most people thought that Brad and Jennifer made a great couple, unfortunately, they didn’t think so.  In a recent interview, Brad expressed that the relationship was boring.  I wonder why that was?  Because they are both emotionals.  Now look at how the relationship between he and Angelina is working out.  Because…Angelina is a physical.  You should consider this when choosing a mate, it will make your life a lot easier.  Can you think of any other famous physical/emotionals… here are a few I’ve come up with.

President Obama – Emotional       Michelle Obama – Physical

Will Smith – Emotional                   Jada – Physical

Stedman – Emotional                      Oprah – Physical

Kim – Emotional                              Kris – Physical

Tia -Emotional                                 Tamara – Physical

Ochocinco – Physical                       Evelyn – Physical ……hmm

Nick – Emotional                              Mariah – Physical

Frazier – Emotional                          Ali – Physical

Drunk Drivers

My heartfelt condolences to anyone who has ever been affected by the irresponsible acts of a drunken driver.  As you’ll see later, all of us have been or have been affected by these careless acts of destruction.  This post looks to address the of the influence of ‘spirits’ or feelings on our everyday lives.

Here’s one definition of the word drunk – overcome or dominated by a strong feeling or emotion.  Hmm… anyone not fall into this category?  It seems that  we all struggle daily with our feelings and emotions and the decisions that we make based on them.  If you think about it, where you are in life now is based on the decisions that were made according to how you felt at the time.  The funny thing is that we continue to do this even if not being totally satisfied with our previous results.

It’s hard to conceive the idea that we live in the past, present and the future at the same time.  This is due to our perception of time.  For example, by the time you can say the word present, it’s already in the past.  The thought of saying the word is projected into the future ; the process of saying it is your present.  Now why is this important?  Because when you understand this concept, you will then be able to ‘control’ your future by simply extending the mental present into the physical future.  In other words you’ll become proactive in your life as opposed to reactive to your feelings and emotions.

Networks are making a fortune capitalizing off of these ‘drunk drivers’ under the guise of ‘Reality TV’ and they are none the wiser.  All they know is that trick better stop talking smack before she gets smacked!  I can see in real time the effects this behavior has on our communities; just read some of the posts on FB…smh

Your body is your vehicle and you know by now that your emotions are the alcohol.  Please take control of your car and manage your alcohol intake on all levels!

Can You Relate

     How many times have we heard that the most important thing in a relationship is communication?  Now, how many times have we been told what that means specifically?

    The concept of physical and emotional behavior created by Dr. John Kappas Ph.D, will allow us to understand more clearly what communication has meant to you and what it could mean to you going foward. You’ll wonder why no one has been talking about this before now.

     This concept is based on two individuals in a relationship described as dating, married, family friends  etc.  This includes traditional and same-sex relationships a like.  We traditionally have called these behaviors passive or aggressive however, this limits our understanding of what truly lies below the surface.

     Let’s begin with the emotional. We’d normally apply this type of behavior to women when in fact men or women may  display these same characteristics.  I’ll start by exposing differences between the two personalities then I’ll get into what these differences mean. 

     Who’s the person in your relationship that is normally the first to walk away from the argument and reply “Fine, I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”? Who’s the one that is always complaining about being cut off during the argument? Who seems to be the most indecisive? Here’s a good one; who’s the one that’s always looking for the meaning behind the words or always trying to read between the lines? Do you see how these could apply to male of female?  These are just a few of the characteristics of  the emotional behavior.

     The Physical.  The physical is the one in the relationship that has to be the boss.  They’re normally the outgoing type.  They like to get all in your space when they’re talking.  They have to touch to communicate. They’re often accused of speaking without thinking or simply speaking too much.  They’re typically very fashion conscious.  Again this could apply to male or female.

     For some unknown reason, these two opposites attract each other and try to change one into the other… This is the beginning of all relationship issues!  Simply put, it’s not until we understand ourselves can we understand ourselves in a relationship. 

Stay tuned to learn more about how these personalities are developed and how they play off of each other.

T Scott

Opposites Attract


   The Physical hears or learns by literal communication but speaks with an inferred language.  Conversely, the Emotional hears/learns through inferred language but speaks literally.  For example; My wife (the physical)will ask during an argument, “So, where are you?” This is of course a question with an inferred meaning of: Where do we stand in our relationship?  So I (the Emotional) say back to her literally and sarcastically I might add, “I’m sitting right here. What do you mean?”  So what’s happening is that not only is there a fight about whatever the issue is at hand but, there’s also a battle over whose method of communication will be used.  You can see how this allows for easy escalation of the situation. 

     The question is often asked, “Why do we use the term physical/emotional to describe these personalities?” The answer is that the Physical expresses his/her emotions physically whereas the Emotional withdraws into him/herself when they feel emotion. You may recognize these traits when a person experiences rejection. The physical will become more aggressive and come forward, but the emotional will become more passive and withdraw.  The physical thrives on confrontation and emotional avoids it at all costs.  The more the physical comes forward the more the emotional will withdraw.  So, to the physical, if you ever hear the emotional say during an argument, “Ok, fine.” That doesn’t mean that everything is fine.  That means watch your back. Although the emotional appears to have backed down and run away, this is not the case.  They will find a way to express themselves at a later time.  Did I mention that these two personalities are attracted to each other?…

     In the beginning all that we tend to see is what we like about a person.  The mystery about them, they’re so different and interesting, but as the relationship progresses and we learn more about the person we begin to focus on what we don’t like about them.  Let’s ask ourselves what is it that we don’t like about this person?  I’ll tell what it is…they’re not like us.  We then begin a process of turning this person into ourselves and then we complain that there’s no excitement in the relationship.  Well, duh, you’re dating yourself!

So the next time you get into an argument with someone you love step back and ask yourself, “Am I pushing too hard or am I withdrawing too deeply?  Am I the Physical or the Emotional?” A key to effective communication is understanding This will begin to help you guide the resolution of the conflict to a desirable result. 

Till the next time,

T Scott