A Lady in the streets and a Freak in the sheets

Photo Credit: wwwpostmagusa.com

This is a common phrase used by many men to describe the type of woman they consider to be marriage material.  Women will also say they want a sensitive man that knows how to get a little rough when the moment calls for it.  In each of these scenarios, what’s being described is a person of balance.

This is an example of an Emotional suggestible and a Physical sexual. This is a woman who carries herself in a more conservative fashion while out in public but is unstoppable in the bedroom.  Most men will go for the quiet passive type for long-term relationship purposes but they’ll cheat on her with the ‘freak in the sheets’ type.  This is where the idea that men are never satisfied comes from.  No matter how much the main girl does at home it’s never enough. Why is this?  It’s because the very thing that makes her a conservative in public makes her conservative at home.  The Emotional sexual is not connected to their physical body the way the Physical sexual is.  She needs to be warmed up before jumping right into sex, this brings their feelings to the surface.  She’s normally not a risk taker and will chastise him for being too much of a risk taker.  The man becomes frustrated by her lack of sexual energy and the ‘I don’t do that type of thing’ attitude and will find someone else who will ‘do that type of thing’.  She finds out that he’s cheating, will not understand why and begins to blame herself for his actions or just tells him to get out and the

relationship is destroyed.

Now, none of this applies if you’re not in a serious relationship or marriage.  However, if you are looking to be with this person for the rest of your life, there will have to be some changes.  Just because you decide that since you’ve never done a particular thing that you never will doesn’t mean that your mate is going to say “Oh ok, then I don’t want to do it either”.  It’s just like squeezing a water balloon, the bubble will just pop up somewhere else.  So, aside from causing physical harm to yourself or going against your morals there should not be anything that you wouldn’t do for one another; especially if you’re married.  Imagine living the rest of your life not being able to get what you want from the person you love just because they don’t want to…not a good feeling.  If you’d like to bring scripture into this look up (Hebrews 13:4  “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled”).  Chastity before marriage is great but chastity after marriage is a disaster.

There is more to this story such as the man that doesn’t want intimacy as much as the woman or how much is too much, but I’m trying to keep this as short as possible.  So the bottom line is, once you’ve found that special someone, go all out for them as they should be going all out for you.  This way they don’t even have the energy to see the freak in the streets.

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The Emotional Mother

(Note: Emotional in this case means passive or passive aggressive. This is also the extreme case for this behavior.)

Emotional Mother…(smh).  Ms. Independent, long-suffering, meek and soft-spoken.  Your sensitive ways make you more aware of your surroundings by magnifying all that you encounter. You seem slow to respond as you over analyze your every thought and tactical move.  Your sarcasm is typically the result of you feeling attacked in someway and is then used as a weapon not a tool.  Always needing to be in control of your emotions, you think your way past your feelings.  You seem crude, stuck up, prudish  anti-social and sometimes just down right weird to those who don’t get you…which is going to be a good majority of people.

Your husband is ‘probably’ the ‘Physical’ male, who by his very nature, is away most of the time.  Although you’d like for him to be at home more you don’t want to seem like you’re nagging him all the time.  Besides, everyone needs there alone time right?  Your patience allows you to deal with work, home and your social life because you’re a solid rock… a solid rock with a tumor growing inside of it.  Suppression of your emotional responses is not healthy for anyone in the relationship.  You’re a ticking time bomb waiting for someone to do one more thing before you unleash shock and awe.

When we express ourselves, we release energy and just like energy, what we release can be positive or negative.   Talking can also be therapeutic by the way of releasing stress.  Because you’re not outwardly expressive you give others the opportunity to define or label you as they see you.  Now, please don’t tell me that you don’t care what people think about you…ultimately we all care what others think of us.  What you think that others are thinking of you, they’re probably not and if you’d communicate your true feelings more you’d find that people will begin to respond to you differently.  Sarcasm, though short and sweet, is normally packed with various sharp objects for doing considerable harm to its intended victim.  Adding sugar to a razor blade doesn’t stop it from cutting if swallowed.  Everyone is not against you or out to get you.  This is also very important to know, the physical male/female may come across as not caring about your feelings but this is not the case.  They really do care, they just don’t hold on to issues the way that you do.  Once it’s over, it’s over.  You may have been told this before, “Get over it already that was last year!”  You really should let it go, holding on causes more harm than good.

Lastly, I like to think of our peersonalities as ‘super powers’ and when trained will allow us to achieve incredible feats in our lives.  So, the next time someone calls you too sensitive, remember that the root word of sensitive is sense; as in our five senses.  Take this as a compliment meaning that you hear, see, taste, smell and feel things more intensely than most.  But what good is it to have all of these intense feelings  if you’re not going to share them with anyone?